I have written before that leaders don’t need to be coaches per say, just have good coaching skills.
What I have noticed is that so many leaders and managers operate at quite a transactional level. Their time, focus, listening and exploration with employees is often very much superficial, only really scratching the surface of the situation and person.
As a former police officer, I was paid to be nosey into people’s lives as a leadership coach now I am still paid to be nosey; in the nicest possible way! Whilst I joke here, in both circumstances the way I was and am, changed so much in those relationship dynamics and outcomes achieved.
My point is leaders by simply being more curious about the person and situation can radically transform the nature of conversations, communication and relationships.
Exploring the employee
Leaders are uniquely placed to explore, how the employee is, where they are at, what’s going on for them, how they are thinking and feeling, what they are experiencing, what they are focusing on, what they are doing, how it will impact them and others, how much they are looking up and around not just forward. What they are noticing in the situation and people around them, the ideas that they have and can explore. How they are approaching something and the thinking behind that. What they are noticing about themselves and others, and not seeing that they perhaps should be. How they are and how they need to be for themselves and the situation.
These and so many other areas to explores aren’t done for their own sake but to gain the complete picture for themselves and the employee. In doing so they can’t but help the employee develop more self-awareness and opportunity to be challenged and process all that is happening around them.
Exploring situations
Leaders being leaders should have some distance from their employees, and this is a great enabler to help employees examine their situations more holistically and systemically. Being curious allows the leader to explore the situation from different angles with employees, the past present and future nature of situations. Questioning around the intricacies, impact and dynamics of a workplace situation. Helping employees explore the systemic people dynamics of involvement, needs and management of these. Teasing out the agendas and politics of a situation or group of stakeholders. Identifying and examining the consequences of ideas and options to a particular situation.
The leader through their curiosity as the ability to make situations move from one dimensional to a three dimensional living experience for employees. Where each ‘room’ of that experience can be explored and understood in order to make more informed decisions or actions.
Your curiosity levels..?
So, how curious are you, I mean really curious? How much do you invest time with employees and get under the skin of what is going on for them? Do you do most of the talking or do they? Are you more in tell than ask mode? In reality are you quite selfish in your approach?
What is your ability to ask really useful questions, based upon your people and their situations rather than your agenda? Are your questions actually that helpful for people? How do you know? Perhaps it would be useful to ask them for some honest feedback on you?
Do your employees leave conversations with you, satisfied, more aware of themselves and others. Have they become wiser and more learned from having explored their situation and needs with you? If not why not? Having this awareness is the first step to changing your approach, less focus on you and more upon others around you.
As leaders it is incumbent upon you to bring change to your conversation with employees, whilst they may not necessarily feel hard done by, they don’t know what they don’t know. But what they will know is that when they do speak with you they aren’t fully sated, fulfilled. Your abilities to have meaningful coaching style discussions directly correlates to the growth and success of your people.
Speak to Abintus
Want to have a conversation about your leadership and coaching? Want to learn about being more curious? Speak to Nick at Abintus about all things leadership development coaching and mentoring. Nick Howell is an Executive coach, coaching facilitator and leadership expert. He is also the author of Great Coaching Questions, a best-selling coaching resource for leaders and coaches.